Question 1: What is your name?
Victor Hernando Fortunato / Itzomaltocatal Chimahuazlili Acapalpitzin Keeper of the House of Darkness and Second Zlontlital of the Order of the Jaguar Warriors
Question 2: What is your greatest ambition?
Money, power, respect, relevance / To free my people from the not-Aztecs!
Question 3: What is your greatest fear?
Poverty, filth, irrelevance / Never returning to my homeland :(
Question 4: What is your favorite color?
Gold / Sage
Question 5: Red sauce or alfredo?
Alfredo / Red sauce
Question 6: Old lady Jenkins rewards you for weeding her garden by giving you one of her famous sausage rolls. As you are walking home the local bully, Big Grigsbad, and her gang of miscreants stop you. They inform you that if you don’t hand over your hard won treat, they will grind your bones to make their bread. What do you do?
Tell them my name and title, then beat them if they persist / Tell them my name and title, then beat them if they persist
Question 7: Who is your best friend?
No one, I am a lone wolf! Awwoooo! / Zu-Wub, Keeper of the House of Snakes and Shit
Question 8: Who is your worst enemy?
Garbanzo and the Varangian Military / Emperor Not-Aztec
Question 9: You are at the local tavern and an ogre approaches and slaps your girlfriend’s ass. What do you do? Keep in mind he is 20 feet tall and weighs 700 pounds.
Give him a high five / Climb him, then punch his face
Question 10: What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
Pass / My heart was stolen by a dragon
Question 11: Pro-skub or anti-skub?
Yes / Yes
Question 12: Do you have any female relatives?
Yes, my mum / Yes, several
Any chance you can hook me up?
No / No, maybe